Friday March 14, 2025/14 Adar 5785/Purim
Parashat Ki Tisa
Hevre/Friends,
As Shabbat arrives, the conclusion to the week of shiva for Andi’s mom, Mavis z”l, on Sunday morning begins to loom. As expected, it’s been a week of tears and sadness. But we’ve also shared memories prompting smiles and laughter; another familiar expression of grief. Less common was the intrusion of a joyous festival into our week of mourning. Who would have thought a holiday of costumes, hamantaschen cookies and cocktails could actually enhance, rather than disrupt, our bereavement? (You got me. This Rabbi on the Rocks even has something to shake up during a shiva…)
The arrival of Purim in the middle of shiva with the reading of the megillah and the festive seudat mitzvah meal actually added layers of meaning to our grief. The playfulness of Purim mirrored Mavis’ endless capacity for whimsy and cheer, right up until her dying day. But on a deeper level, the story of Purim summons us to rise from despair into renewed hope and celebration. Mordecai emerged from his sackcloth and ashes which he donned at the news of the Jews’ fate in the hands of the wicked Haman only to be draped in royal robes; first as an act of gratitude from the king for saving him from an assassination plot and later as the king’s new Prime Minister after Haman was exposed and killed. It made us think of Mavis’ determination to rise from her unimaginable grief at losing her daughter Elyse, z”l, so soon after losing her beloved husband, Sidney, z”l, and to embrace with gusto not only Andi, but whatever and whoever life still had in store for her.
Diving deeper still, one of those regal garments Mordecai wore is referred to in the Megillah as תכריך בוץ/takhrikh butz - a cloak of linen. Ironically, the name we encounter here for this robe of power and vitality eventually came to be used for the garment of death; the takhrikhin are the linen shrouds we wrap around our dead after tenderly washing them in preparation for burial. But perhaps the connection is not as strange as it seems.
On the one hand, it reminds those in power that they are as mortal as those they rule; a call for humility and respect from our leaders. But it also signals to those grieving that their loved ones, now muted and inert, were once full of life and splendor; a call for us to remember them not only in their demise, but in their fullness and beauty. Thankfully, Mavis left us with loads of memories of her charm, her graciousness, and her strength to carry within us always.
We enter Shabbat with an abundance of gratitude for the comfort we’re receiving from family, friends and community near and far, and with continued prayers for our ability to bring home all the hostages, protect the soldiers, heal the injured, comfort the bereaved, and build a lasting peace in Israel and around the world, as well as with blessings for a Shabbat Shalom.
Dini
